Tuesday, June 28, 2016


I don’t know where the time has gone, I mean I do, as every minute has been full, but when I realize it has been since February since I took time to write, it just underscores how much has happened. But instead of addressing that I am ready to yell


Isn’t that what we used to insist that someone say when they have had enough?

So for all who have asked, oh my goodness yes, I will miss my girls terribly.

No I don’t know what I will do.

No obviously I did not do well in planning in any area of my life.

Yes, it will cost a fortune.


Saturday, February 20, 2016

Life continues to change and doors continue to open

My daughter received an email this week that she has been accepted into her first choice of colleges.

In response, I've been asked a hundred times, oh my gosh, aren't you going to miss her? What will you do?

When people realize that both girls are seniors and will be going to college, they are dumbfounded that I knowingly did this, that my current world will change and I will be without them and the most common reaction is sympathy.

For the record, of course I will miss them. My life is them, but there is so much more to consider.

But am I sad? NO! I am beyond ecstatic, I am joyful, I am thrilled, I am whatever is more than that.

My daughters deserve these opportunities. They were denied so much when they were younger for so many years. I don't know the background or the reasons why their birth family had to leave them, but they took the time and the care to put them where they would be found. They must have wanted a life that would be better than what they could ever provide. You don't just casually give up a child. Did this birth family ever dream that their child would be accepted to one of the most recognized universities? Probably not, only because their frame of reference, their lives, did not have that as a remote possibility.

My daughters are my daughters and I want for them what every mother wants for their children, an even better life than they have had. In today's world, that is a great education. We've driven about 20 miles each way for the last seven years to ensure they did get that education. Why would we stop now?

This morning, I realized, for me, it is also personal.

When I surprised my doctors by surviving the surgery they performed, much less have made it to this age, I realize for me, these are accomplishments that I was almost denied. I have two daughters. I have two successful, well educated, smart, funny, kind, loving, giving daughters. I have two daughters who want to succeed, who want to expand their knowledge, who want to go to college! Wow! I've accomplished way more than just surviving! Dreams that I dashed early are coming true!

Will I miss them? Of course! They are my world. Will I be sad? Of course, I am still human and cry as I type this. Would I ever hold them back? No way!

Saturday, January 23, 2016

Things I never thought I would do

In December I did two things that I never thought I would do.

I'm not sure why Christmas always catches me by surprise, as I think it has always been on the same day of the year, but this year seemed to be worse and for the first time ever, I did not mail a single Christmas card. I've been known to mail them as late as December 23 and a few on December 24, hoping the recipients would blame the postal service, but this year, not a single signature was written or envelop sealed. The one thing that has helped with Christmas is that the price of the "toys" my daughters want each year has increased enough that they only get one. Unfortunately, the things they want are the same as everyone else wants, so you hold your breath and hope your package arrives in time.

The other thing I did, was buy a second car.

I never thought there would be a day that I would need to buy a second car. I'm not sure if other parents of teens plan ahead better and think, oh we will need to buy another car when Junior gets his license, but somehow I did not.

I thought we had it worked out pretty well and for a long time, it did.

The girls dropped me off at work in the morning and then I took the bus home in the afternoon or when needed, they came back and got me. The best part was the bus ride was on a free shuttle and also gave me a little exercise. There were a few times that it was not very convenient and a few where we ended up having to borrow a car from mom and dad to make all our connections, but for the most part it was working.

Then one day, things I never could have planned for happened all at once.

The girls needed to stay late at school for an event so I had already planned to take the bus home. Weather was a little chilly but no problem.

Somewhere in the back of my mind though, I had a nagging suspicion we had forgotten something. Sure enough, we had promised to take care of an errand for a friend, delivering dinner to two older ladies.

So about the time I head out to the bus stop I take a quick glance at Facebook, only to realize there is an escaped prisoner around where I work and the police, helicopters, and K-9 units are everywhere. OK, doesn't sound like fun to stand on the corner, waiting for an unknown period of time while this is happening, but I know these ladies are counting on us for dinner.

Thankfully it all worked out but the idea of needing another car definitely came to the front of my mind.

The next day was the homecoming game for my girls' school, which I had to miss.

This is their senior year so I have been glad for them to use the car and be able to participate in events they could not otherwise when I was picking them up, but it was also interfering with my ability to run errands, go to the grocery store, but more importantly, get to them if needed me, so I bit the bullet and the next day bought another car.

I had not budgeted in two car payments, plus the insurance, but having the freedom and ability to come and go as I needed had been great, until, yes, you guessed it, the many times they are going in opposite directions, and I am still without a car.

Let me check that bus schedule again.