Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Personality types

One of Grace's earliest and funniest Chenglish expressions was she was full of her hands, rather than her hands were full. She still says this some times and I completely know what she means.

Lately I have been not only full of my hands, but my heart and my head.

We spent most of the weekend at an adoption seminar that helps you explore your personality type, as well as your children's to learn to better accept and understand what your driving forces are.

The children were told the different personalities by animals and the adults by numbers. To me, the description of the "turtle" was a PERFECT description of Grace, especially when she described that a turtle will stare straight through you when you ask them a question. They like to work in groups, which is what Grace chooses every time in class, rather than working alone, and also described as having characteristics of a sloth, someone who is not ruffled by much and prefers inactivity to activity.

Grace however saw herself as the lion, the one who is noticed and makes sure everyone notices them when they walk into a room.

So we still have work to do there.

But Annabel immediately saw herself as the rabbit. This is the person who is anxious, scared, and very unsure of the world around her.

I had seen these traits in Annabel, but really thought it was still her anxiety and adapting to her very new environment, but instead it is just her. She worries about strangers on the street trying to get into the car, whether I will be mad about something, whether she has remembered all the things she needs for school each day.

She has been having a lot of trouble sleeping lately and waking up from nightmares and not being able to go back to sleep. This was really driven home by a nightmare she had this week. She dreamed that someone was pulling her away, taking her away from us, and that Dad came out of the house to confront the man. When he did, the man shot his gun and killed Dad. As if that was not enough of a nightmare for a child, she dreamed that Mom hated her then for being the cause of Dad being killed.

Last night I was intent on helping her get a good night's sleep and gave her half a benadryl. She was sound asleep before I could even tell them good night. She still woke up during the night, so I know we need to do more work there.

I know it is a long process to build that sense of security that both need so much, but I think it is so obviously secure, I cannot imagine why they don't feel it, but I know it is so much more complicated than that.

I've also been actively trying to get our community garden off the ground or in the ground I guess. All I wanted was a place for Dad to get to garden.

I didn't say which animal I thought I was in the personality enneagram, because I wasn't sure. I recognize myself in the kangaroo because as soon as someone says, "I need" I am trying to find a solution for them. So Dad needed a place to garden, so I was intent on finding him one, which has been a LOT more work then just putting plants in the ground!

1 comment:

  1. Fantastic post Jerri! I wish you luck on your search of a place for dad to garden. That is a nice activity of interest.