Before I go ahead, I want to make sure that everyone understands that I am not trying to place blame on anyone when an adoption is disrupted. Obviously the feelings from the heart of heart of those involved is where the only true explanation lays.
BUT I don't think it is even that easy.
Raising children is not easy and I keep asking for the book, but there isn't one.
Throw in the many problems that adopted children can bring to the family, PLUS the existing family dynamics they are going into, and then add a very inquisitive public asking questions that should never be asked, and that is a formula for disaster!
But I will not back down that I think more parents need to accept responsibility for their children and their behavior and pursue the means necessary to provide their children with the best resources available to help them overcome whatever deficiencies still exist in their lives.
I want parents, whether adoptive or biological, to be the parents, to be the adults, and not hope they children grown out of it.
Last week I had lunch with an OLD friend, emphasis on the OLD just for him!
He mentioned that people tell him that he is almost through raising his kids and can soon "get a life". I liked his answer. He says that he is not raising his children as a temporary point in his life. He has accepted the job as Dad forever. He likes the job and it will always be a part of his life.
I like that! My Dad will tell you that you never get away from being the dad either!