Monday, September 20, 2010

Recording the history of adoption

In the last couple of weeks, I have either heard snippets of books written by parents who have adopted, seen a movie about it, and begun to read a book recounting the author's story of adopting.

On NPR I heard two different interviews with Scott Simon discussing his book about adopting his two daughters from China. Each time you could tell that he got emtional discussing it, and overall, he answered the questions candidly, humorously, and at times quite emotionally. I have not read the book, but his answers seemed to be a very straightforward approach to adopting.

In between I began to read a book that is supposed to tell about a woman adopting her daughters from China, though she actually began the journey as the companion of the "new" mother. I can't get far enough along to know how/what happens that she becomes the mom rather than her friend, because she gets so bogged down with this rather odd story about reincarnation or something. Like I said, I can't get into it.

Next came the movie Blind Side. If you have not seen this movie, I have to urge you to rent it. It easily deserved the Oscars it won and Sandra Bullock is remarkable as a woman who saw a need and filled it. No ulterior motives, no strange reincarnation, just a young man who needed a family and hers had room to spare! I liked that at the climax she and her new son are forced to address the motives of their arrangement and both could honestly say it was what fit and it worked.

The last was the book reading I went to featured a mother who wanted to tell the world about her trans racial adoption. I am evidently doing something wrong because I don't label my daughters as "trans racial" adoptees I guess I know what that means, but the emphasis is on the multi ethnic part of the adoption, rather than the people adopted, I guess. It makes me think of when I worked with people with disabilities and it was constantly preached to us to put the person first, then the disability. This seemed like all she wanted to do was point out that her daughter was a different race than she and the problems that involved.

Tomorrow is the six year anniversary of adopting Grace. I see there are all kinds of ways to talk about adoption and I hope I choose the best. More about our first days together later!

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