At this point in my life, it seems like I should be used to people coming in and out of my life.
BUT there is one person who is no longer in my life that I hate to admit, but I grieve for regularly AND it is my fault she is no longer a part of it.
This person was extra special to me. Every two weeks, she would come to see me. In preparation for her coming, I would always pick up and put things away, anxious for her arrival.
She seemed impervious to all the mess that I seemed able to create. In fact, she seemed to be challenged and invigorated by it.
She was the best. She did not even care if I was home when she came to see me. She was willing to come as often as I wanted her to.
She did not need to be entertained, fed, or cared for in any way.
She seemed like her sole purpose was to please me.
And I miss her terribly. Some days I think I will grab my cell phone and just call her and beg her to come back, even if she could come to see me just once a month! At least that one day my house would be clean. About the same time I break down and reach for the phone though, some unexpected bill or repair or school cost comes up.
You see there was only one thing she ever wanted from me. She did expect to be paid. There just aren't a lot of people who want to come and clean your house for free.
Boy, do I miss her today!