Monday, August 6, 2012

Suicidal chicken or what I did on my summer vacation

I think I must have blinked because summer is over for us.

It happened that quickly and for once, I am not thinking, I wish we had done... You know how it goes, always sure there were a certain number of things you wanted to get accomplished in a limited time and when that time is over, none of them are done.

I went into summer a little more realistically this time, knowing that our summer break was shortened considerably by the school. Whereas most schools begin at the end of August, ours was slated to begin on August 2. When the last class is held on May 24, that does not give you a lot of time.

In the two months that we have been off (ok, just the girls have been off), we have gone to Destin, Florida, had company, gotten new water heater, new tires, had company, traveled to Austin, traveled to Hot Springs, AK, the girls volunteered at the hospital, they took Chinese classes, Grace took piano classes, I took a memoir writing class, and Annabel was on a softball team. I think that is all and tonight for the first time in weeks, it is a Monday night and we were through with dinner, clean up, plans for tomorrow, and there was still time to sit down and try to catch up on other things, like email. But, of course, I was wrong.

I've been off kilter a little today and I am not sure whether it was from falling last night or the fact that I was awakened in the middle of the night with one of those dreaded, "Mom!" stage whispers that can rattle the dead, followed by the news bulletin that Nina, the dog, had peed on Grace's bed, which required me to wake up enough to locate sheets, start the washer, and send Nina outside.

This was especially painful since I had fallen earlier in the evening when Annabel asked if we could go to the dollar store and since I plan to participate in the American Heart Association walk in less than a month, told her we would walk. Somehow I did not take time to change shoes, so off we went me wearing my flip flops. The sole of my flip slid in the mud and made me flop on a neighbor's lawn. Lovely.

Anyway, tonight I was determined to take a break and about the time I pulled the laptop on my lap, Annabel comes in and announced, "Mom, one of the chickens is missing." I ask, "Are you sure?" as sometimes they huddle up very closely and you can't count them as well.

Before I have time to stand up, she is back announcing, "There is a chicken on the roof!"

Yes, there was. Dorothy, not our brightest, had managed to get on the roof of the shed/chicken coop and then did not seem to know how to get down. My attempts at forcing her down with a very long pole, seemed to urge her to go to the opposite side toward our neighbor, who has a really tall fence even with our roof line, and try to escape that way.

By then Grace has joined us and all three of us are imploring Dorothy to come down, even trying to bribe her with feed, which she is dutifully ignoring.

She then plops down, closes her eyes, and seems as if she is calling it a night on top of the roof!

I finally agree to calling Dad who stands on his deck and says, "Well, you do have a chicken on your roof!"

Dorothy seems to rally a bit and goes back to the edge, which looks down in the chicken yard, and much like the divers in the Olympics, looks down, looks out at the distance, and then jumps, only instead of jumping, she flies!!! She almost makes it all the way across the yard to our house's roof! The distance is close to 1000 feet, because I cannot tell distance, so it might be more like 15 feet, but when she misses the next roof, she instead crashes to the ground.

At that moment, I am faced with one of those fears that mothers experience of trying to protect your children from all things dreadful, as I am sure she has broken her neck and I will have to dispose of her but wanting to protect my children from seeing one of their pets in distress, at the same time wondering if you can cook a chicken that has committed suicide.

I can't decide whether to make them go back inside while I check or Dorothy, but they have already run to look for themselves.

There is crazy Dorothy, upright, rather stunned, but making her way into the chicken coop!

Tomorrow night I will try to catch up instead. That is enough excitement for one night!

1 comment:

  1. Oh, Jerri, you never fail to make me laugh out loud, and I don't mean that lame LOL.

    Thank you!