Friday, October 5, 2012

What is going on?

I had a moment tonight. Not an "Aha!" as Oprah always had. I had more of an "Uh oh!" moment instead. Several things were leading up to it, but I had ignored the subtle warning signs I was receiving.

I must admit that I haven been an authority on several topics or had been until I actually had first hand experience. I easily could tell you how to raise your children until I had mine.

Right now I have been called an expert on aging as that is what I do for a living. One thing that has happened during my tenure as an aging expert is that I have also aged. But what I have found, consistently, is that the term older always refers to the group of people in the next older age group. I know when I was growing up that someone in their 30's were, in my opinion, middle age. When I got to 30, it was obvious that I was not middle age and that surely middle age was more like mid 40's to your 50's. Of course, if you ever admit that you are middle age, then it is just a matter of time until you are older.

Now I have admitted here before that I have personally experienced some symptoms of being older, like when I realized that when my gas gauge shows half a tank, I feel worry. I also now actually factor in the possibility of traffic, the need to park, and walk into a building in planning the time it will take to get somewhere, rather than leaving the house at the time I am supposed to be somewhere.

Anyway, September has been a busy month, I've worked most Saturdays, and in between there have been a lot of softball games for Annabel, so I admit, I am tired. I was so tired earlier today at work, I got on an elevator and could not think of what button to push because I couldn't remember what floor I had entered the elevator on. Surely that is just a symptom of being tired, not being older.

Tonight I had a choice to make, about going somewhere. Here were my warning signs that actually appeared to be factors, not warning signs, in making my decision. First factor: the weather is expected to change over night and the forecast calls for a cold and rainy day tomorrow. Second factor: it might get dark while I was out. See, these are not even considerations if you are younger, weather, time of day, you laugh at them and do what you want when you want. So I should have realized that I was making a decision based on "older" thinking and then maybe I would not have been blindsided by what happened next.

I decided concern over the weather beat out the risk of it getting dark while I was out and jumped into the car and turned on the radio. I'm not used to getting to choose the station, but fairly quickly I found a station playing a song I really liked. I was singing my heart out when it happened. The song ended when the announcer said, "All oldies, all the time". Seriously? The only good music on the radio is on an oldies station? What does that mean? The implications of it all worry me.

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