Saturday, November 3, 2012

What is going on?

I'm having trouble sleeping tonight and wondered if I tried to work through some of the things on my mind if that would help.

By the time I got home tonight from work, I have to admit I felt quite beat up. Lately no matter how hard I have tried I seem to have very vocal critics who feel it is their duty to set me straight. Normally I try to outguess even the smallest detail about everything and anything that can possibly go wrong in any scenario when planning events for work. I can go months without complaints that are not too difficult to remedy, like, "We ran out of coffee." Sure, I can get more coffee. See, that is the type of complaint that is easy and that I expected.

The complaints I have received lately are from very angry people about things that seem very trivial, like I let one person go ahead of the next in a line that all made it to their destination simultaneously. this person was so mad she came back to tell me again I did her wrong. Then called to tell me and was surprised that the person in charge was the one who caused her fury. I tried to listen carefully to see if there was something else going on, maybe some terrible situation that was being exhibited in this complaint, but could find nothing.

My goal is to please the most people I can by providing something they need and I guess I take it personally when I fail or it is perceived as a failure to them.

And this is just one of the many!

I never thought I would be one of those who could not leave the job at the door and focus on my family but it has proven very difficult.

Within the last couple of days, I have also heard of two people diagnosed with cancer, two families that are in turmoil dealing with post adoption issues, and at least one person who just lost their job. Of course on the TV and internet are thousands of images of the toll that Hurricane Sandy made on so many lives. A friend in New York posted tonight that she finally had power. I heard an interview and the ONLY thing this man wanted was hot water. He would do without electricity if he just had some hot water. Others told about carrying up gallons of water for six floors.

I realize my problems are small when compared to everyone else's. I keep trying to put it in perspective and maybe writing this has helped me realize why I can't turn loose of mine. I really worry about these people who have been so angry at me. Is there a bigger picture? Are they this angry over every injustice lately? Or am I just really messing up? Do I need to re-think and re-visit what I think "works"?

I'm hoping with some extra rest it will all become clearer, but to get that, I have to go back to sleep for now.

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