My life as a mother began after I had spent a LOT of years as a single person who had little or no responsibilities to anyone else, at least not day to day, what's for dinner? do I have any clean clothes? type of responsibilities. And I did not start motherhood after 9 months of putting my body through the most dramatic changes I think a body can go through. And maybe an even more important point is I did not start with a newborn who was totally dependent on me and kept me awake night after night for at least the first two years.
My start in motherhood began after 2 years of paperchasing (no stretch marks from that!) with a 6 year old, who had been fairly responsible for herself a good part of her life. My first day of motherhood included a trip to McDonalds, a nap, shopping, and sightseeing, not nearly what happens after hours of labor and delivery.
Anyway, because of all of this, I think I am still quite surprised in the changes I see in myself from the fairly recent days of no responsibility to being mom.
This afternoon reminded me of one that probably doesn't seem all that significant, but is a major change for me.
When my sister and her 2 young daughters stayed with me just before leaving to adopt Grace, I remember as I was doing laundry, asking if they had any wearable colored clothes that needed to be washed. Jana laughed so hard asking what in the world did I mean. I sorted my laundry carefully and would never think of washing towels and sheets that were a color with the clothes that I wear. This was 2 separate loads. I also didn't mind washing small, medium, or large loads, rather than risk mixing items.
Today, while doing laundry, which included my sheets, I was down to a mix of one sheet, some of my better pants, and some sweaters. Without batting an eye, I threw it all in together. Shoot, I just wanted to get finished with it, I didn't want to waste the time, much less the water, to wash one sheet by itself. If I had done that, it would have resulted in 3 small loads, so in the still "new" life as mom, I can more easily recognize losing battles, things that just don't matter, and that there is a limit to the amount of time I want to use on laundry.
For the majority of my adult life, I have had a problem with allergies that can lead to sinus infections and then quickly turn into bronchitis. Pre-mom days, I probably delayed going to the doctor until I was just sick of being sick and then I took however long it took to actually get well. This could mean a week or two, doing NOTHING in between. Thursday, by the time I came home from work and as grouchy as I was, I knew I had to go to the doctor, it could not be delayed any longer. One night of me being "off" and I knew I had to fix that. So even though I did not feel like dragging out of bed on Friday, I did, and went straight to the doctor where I got a shot and three prescriptions to speed up the process, because now as mom, laying around until I felt 100% would be too late. Life happens and you have to keep up.
By Saturday morning, I knew my list of chores was long, so it did not matter that I did not feel 100% better, I needed to get busy. After making a quick breakfast, doing some preliminary cleaning, Annabel and I got outside, hauling big bags of soil and compost, trying to get a few things planted before the rain started. We got the front 2 raised beds filled, then moved to the back yard to do them. From there, we cleaned out the chicken house, hauling out the old straw, cleaning out the nesting boxes, and filling up the compost bin with all we had collected. From there we moved inside and changed the air filter, put some things away in our tip top storage areas, which required all 3 of us, and a few other things before a quick clean up and out to Costco. When we got home, then we had to find a place to store all the large economy sizes of everything we bought, which is a LOT of work.
By the time I finally sat down for the night and thought about all we had accomplished, I still feel a sense of amazement at this huge change in my life. I would much rather get well quickly and back into the groove as quickly as possible, as I think my girls deserve it.
I like the change. This life is so much better.