Thursday, September 10, 2015

The best way to become a mom

If you are thinking of having kids, let me offer you a bit of advice - do it the way I did.

When I adopted Grace, I don't think I knew anyone else who had adopted an older child. There was no Facebook then. There was no support groups. If there were others who had adopted older children, I did not know them and did not have a way to talk to them, So I went off, with no experience being a mom, no experience speaking the language, and completely unprepared except the children's shampoo my mom bought so I would quit fretting about it. I did not have kid sized glasses, plates, bowls, much less food, or even her room set up, which my niece, Marcie took care of.

And we came home and I did kind of like I do in a batting cage, swinging and swinging and every now and then making that connection and doing something right.

I don't think I ever stopped and wondered what others thought about the whole situation, but I did have an opportunity recently to be told that some thought I was nuts.

So if people thought I was nuts, the bar was set pretty low about how well the whole situation would turn out. In fact, I think even still people are genuinely surprised that we are making it, that we speak to each other, enjoy being together, there's no record of CPS investigating my lack of ability as a parent, none of that.

Now if I had started out being a mom by being pregnant, oh my goodness, I feel so sorry for expectant women. Everyone has a horror story, EVERYONE! For nine months you are asked the same questions by each person you see. And that's before you even deliver!

From the time the baby arrives, there is a constant comparison - your baby to every other baby int he world anywhere close to that age.

But it doesn't end with those people you see. Now these new moms have so many other ways to see their inadequacies through all sorts of social media, there's Facebook, Instagram, and the worst, Pinterest! If you don't breastfeed, make homemade baby food, and have your child reading by their first birthday, you are a failure! Oh the pressure these people are put through!

But when no one else has done something similar, there's not nearly the opportunity to compare. I mean how would you know that I wasn't doing it right? Right?

So if you are considering being a mom, you might want to weigh your options!

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