Saturday, January 16, 2016

Shower Syndrome

My daughters are concerned I have a problem and they call it Shower Syndrome, which isn't what you expect it to be. 

I was pretty sure I knew how to be a mom when I became one and was prepared for anything that happened. Of course that flew out the door within the first hours and I accepted that I was totally unprepared but still find some things that surprise me.

When I adopted my daughters, all I wanted for them was a good life, where they could grow and mature, and I would be able to allow them to do this without holding on too tightly. I wanted them to be able to develop into the best possible person they could and have the best life possible and I would be their cheering section but I would never be a helicopter mom, holding them back. 

So for a while, this was working. Then the strangest thing happened that made me realize that turning loose was a lot harder than I expected it to be.

A few summers ago, I finally had their bathroom redone. It had an extremely old bathtub that could not be converted to a shower and so for the first 5 years or so, we all used the one in "my" bathroom. There were always a wide selection of hair care products, bath gels, soaps, etc. and we had to coordinate whose turn was first, but we always made it work.

Then their bathroom was finally finished. They packed up their hair and bath stuff and moved it into their brand new shower, and it made me terribly sad. I tried to talk them into using mine whenever they wanted but they like their own better and besides it has all their stuff in it. All of a sudden, I was the only one in mine and I was shocked at what I was feeling, I mean it's not like they had left home, and the convenience factor should easily have outweighed any other feeling, but having my own was not nearly as great as sharing had been.

The girls find it rather amusing and now when I have a similar reaction to other events, they simply shake their heads and say it is just like the shower.

The same thing happened when it was the last time I drove them to school, their first trip to the grocery store alone, and last night, they went straight from school to a friend's house for a sleepover. There have been others and each time they just shake their heads and know it is Shower Syndrome. 

It hasn't been the big things, going from elementary to middle to high school, specific birthdays, it is always odd, random things and maybe that's why it surprises me so much.

Right now I hear regularly that I will be so lonesome when they both go to college. 

I might, but I'm so proud of each thing they achieve that I am hoping that my Shower Syndrome will be short lived and instead I will focus on who they are becoming, because that was my original goal. 

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