My daughter received an email this week that she has been accepted into her first choice of colleges.
In response, I've been asked a hundred times, oh my gosh, aren't you going to miss her? What will you do?
When people realize that both girls are seniors and will be going to college, they are dumbfounded that I knowingly did this, that my current world will change and I will be without them and the most common reaction is sympathy.
For the record, of course I will miss them. My life is them, but there is so much more to consider.
But am I sad? NO! I am beyond ecstatic, I am joyful, I am thrilled, I am whatever is more than that.
My daughters deserve these opportunities. They were denied so much when they were younger for so many years. I don't know the background or the reasons why their birth family had to leave them, but they took the time and the care to put them where they would be found. They must have wanted a life that would be better than what they could ever provide. You don't just casually give up a child. Did this birth family ever dream that their child would be accepted to one of the most recognized universities? Probably not, only because their frame of reference, their lives, did not have that as a remote possibility.
My daughters are my daughters and I want for them what every mother wants for their children, an even better life than they have had. In today's world, that is a great education. We've driven about 20 miles each way for the last seven years to ensure they did get that education. Why would we stop now?
This morning, I realized, for me, it is also personal.
When I surprised my doctors by surviving the surgery they performed, much less have made it to this age, I realize for me, these are accomplishments that I was almost denied. I have two daughters. I have two successful, well educated, smart, funny, kind, loving, giving daughters. I have two daughters who want to succeed, who want to expand their knowledge, who want to go to college! Wow! I've accomplished way more than just surviving! Dreams that I dashed early are coming true!
Will I miss them? Of course! They are my world. Will I be sad? Of course, I am still human and cry as I type this. Would I ever hold them back? No way!